As a classic “Type A” personality, I tend to be a very intense, driven, and intentional person. I like to be the one who’s in control – the one making the plans and mobilizing others to carry them out.
A little something I’ve learned is that when it comes to my life, God is the one who ought to be in the driver’s seat. This means that worrying about where I should work, how I’m going to pay my bills, or figuring out my life ambitions is no longer my job. Discovering this took me some time, and really settling into it has proven even more difficult.
As a child, I had this reoccurring dream in which I was sitting in the backseat of our old family car, blanket in hand. When I looked to the front seat, where my mom or dad usually was, I realized that the car didn’t have a driver. Still, the steering wheel turned round and round, and the car drove expertly down the streets. Once in a while, I’d feel a pang of anxiety – how do I know that I’m really safe? Whenever I thought this, a strong peace would suddenly calm me down. I couldn’t see this invisible driver, but it seemed like I could trust them. I gripped my blanket tighter and settled into the backseat, feeling that sense of comfort that comes from sleeping in the backseat with your parents at the wheel.
As adults, some of us get this idea in our head that we are the ones that provide for ourselves. We need to strategize and create ten-year plans. We need to find the best job with the best possible pay. We believe that there’s always something better we could be searching for. There’s always something MORE we could be doing, something MORE we could be achieving.
If I’m honest with myself, the times that I chose to forge my own path and “find a great job” or make something of myself have never worked out. Whenever I really need something, I ask God for it and he puts it in my path. I’ve never had to search, strive, or plan my life. All attempts at micromanagement have just produced unnecessary stress and fear and led me right back to where I was – asking God to work it out for me.
It’s okay to stop striving and enjoy where you are right now. It’s okay to decide you don’t know what you want in life and to let God pick it for you. It’s okay to stop worrying about how well you are doing in relation to your peers and focus on being your best self. It’s okay to stop thinking about the next step and just love the people you are around, right where you are. It’s okay to quit trying to succeed and just work your hardest at what’s in front of you.
It’s okay to stop trying to prove yourself to everyone and just let God promote you.
For those who will misunderstand, I am an advocate of hard work. I believe in giving all things your best effort. But if you are a project manager, you need each member of the project to just do their part. It’s not up to them to determine the vision or to figure out the big picture. Each of them has a specific role, and if they do the work that you give them to do, that’s all you need from them.
God is the one managing the big picture of your life. You don’t have to figure out what’s next. You just need to work your hardest at each job that he gives you. When you have been proven faithful in the small things, HE WILL PROMOTE YOU to the bigger things. I promise you, God is a trustworthy driver.