Life is about seizing every opportunity that is given to you at the present time. It is not about rushing to the next goal, job, opportunity and or relationship. Many twenty-somethings are always looking for what’s next and as a result are missing out on the joy of the blessings that are right front of them. Instead of being thankful for the job they have, they are daydreaming about another job. Instead of being confident in who they are, they are comparing themselves to others on social media. This perspective prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life at this present moment.
One season that twenty-somethings are often rushing through and thinking “what’s next?” is that taboo season of singleness. Many people think singleness is something to be endured, but I want to suggest to you that singleness is something that you should own and take advantage of. If you are single at this very moment, embrace this season.
1. Singleness is a Time to Work On Yourself
First, I can no longer “prepare” myself for marriage because I am already married. Let me explain. Many people think once you are married, many of your struggles as a single person will be resolved. Such struggles include: loneliness, lust, pornography, unhealthy emotional needs, selfishness. The list can go on and on. You will be surprised to discover whatever you are struggling with as a single person you will continue to battle as a married person. Every bad thing about you will multiply once you’re married. For example, if you have anger issues now, those issues will affect your spouse. If you have lustful addictions now, those addictions will not disappear once you get married. If you have bad financial habits, those habits will follow you right into your marriage and affect your household. So being single gives you the time to work on your character now as an individual before you are responsible for your future spouse.
2. Singleness is a Time to Pursue Your Calling & Career
Another reason why every twenty-somethings should embrace their season of singleness is to pursue their calling. Although you may not like being alone at times, this is a unique time during which you can maximize your energy, time and resources to pursue and grow in your career. This might sound selfish but it’s actually an advantage. When I was single, I was able to spend countless hours on pursuing my calling and career as a college pastor. I was able to give much of my time to the church and the people I was pastoring. However, now that I am married, I can no longer be selfish with my hours and time. As a married man, It is right for me to sacrifice the hours I used to spend on ministry and to spend time with my wife. Of course, I do this with great joy but it comes at a cost.
3. Singleness is a Time for Self-Discovery
Similar to pursuing your calling, another advantage a single person has is the ability to explore and find your gifts. In our twenties we are on a journey to discover who we are. We do not need to be in a rush to get everything right. That is why your season of singleness is a perfect time to grow, explore, and even make mistakes. Many twenty-somethings are afraid to make mistakes because they have bought into a lie that they have to have it all together. This is far from the truth. It is important to make mistakes and take risks! There is no such thing as failure, only growth. When you are single you can leverage exploring the unknown more than a married person can.
4. Singleness is a Time to Invest Into Friendships
Also, every twenty-somethings should be single for a season so that they can invest into friendships. Do you remember that friend that slowly disappeared once they started dating? This person might have been your ride or die friend that you did everything with; but once they started dating, what happened? Maybe they stopped calling you or hanging out with you. And your relationship started to drift. At that time, you might have gotten upset but your friend did the right thing. That’s a part of life. Once you start dating, you no longer have the same amount of time for others. When you are single, you have an advantage to cultivate deep friendships. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I am not as close to my friends as I was before I got married.
5. Singleness is a Time to get Close to the Lord
Lastly, if you are a Christian this season of singleness can become the one of the sweetest times between you and the Lord. Paul himself said that it is better to remain single than to marry (1 Cor 7:8). Paul was not saying that we need to be a priest or a monk. He was saying that when a person gets married their hearts can no longer only be devoted to the Lord. Rather, they will have to be concerned with pleasing their spouse and the Lord. Paul writes,“ I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided” (1 Cor 7:32-34). Paul is writing here that when an individual is single he or she can focus all of their heart on the Lord in a unique way that a married person cannot do. It was for this reason, he decided it was best for him to remain single so that he can fully devote himself to ministry. If you are a Christian in a season of singleness, please do not endure this time. Be faithful with this time. Use your extra hours you have in prayer, worship and serving the Lord through your local church. This season of being single is a gift from God.