Life is about seizing every opportunity that is given to you at the present time. It is not about rushing to the next goal, job, opportunity and or relationship. Many twenty-somethings are always looking for what’s next and as a result are missing out on the joy of the blessings that are right front of them. Instead of being thankful for the job they have, they are daydreaming about another job. Instead of being confident in who they are, they are comparing themselves to others on social media. This perspective prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life at this present moment.

One season that twenty-somethings are often rushing through and thinking “what’s next?” is that taboo season of singleness. Many people think singleness is something to be endured, but I want to suggest to you that singleness is something that you should own and take advantage of. If you are single at this very moment, embrace this season.

1. Singleness is a Time to Work On Yourself

First, I can no longer “prepare” myself for marriage because I am already married. Let me explain. Many people think once you are married, many of your struggles as a single person will be resolved. Such struggles include: loneliness, lust, pornography, unhealthy emotional needs, selfishness. The list can go on and on. You will be surprised to discover whatever you are struggling with as a single person you will continue to battle as a married person. Every bad thing about you will multiply once you’re married. For example, if you have anger issues now, those issues will affect your spouse. If you have lustful addictions now, those addictions will not disappear once you get married. If you have bad financial habits, those habits will follow you right into your marriage and affect your household. So being single gives you the time to work on your character now as an individual before you are responsible for your future spouse.

2. Singleness is a Time to Pursue Your Calling & Career

Another reason why every twenty-somethings should embrace their season of singleness is to pursue their calling. Although you may not like being alone at times, this is a unique time during which you can maximize your energy, time and resources to pursue and grow in your career. This might sound selfish but it’s actually an advantage. When I was single, I was able to spend countless hours on pursuing my calling and career as a college pastor. I was able to give much of my time to the church and the people I was pastoring. However, now that I am married, I can no longer be selfish with my hours and time. As a married man, It is right for me to sacrifice the hours I used to spend on ministry and to spend time with my wife. Of course, I do this with great joy but it comes at a cost.

3. Singleness is a Time for Self-Discovery

Similar to pursuing your calling, another advantage a single person has is the ability to explore and find your gifts. In our twenties we are on a journey to discover who we are. We do not need to be in a rush to get everything right. That is why your season of singleness is a perfect time to grow, explore, and even make mistakes. Many twenty-somethings are afraid to make mistakes because they have bought into a lie that they have to have it all together. This is far from the truth. It is important to make mistakes and take risks! There is no such thing as failure, only growth. When you are single you can leverage exploring the unknown more than a married person can.

4. Singleness is a Time to Invest Into Friendships

Also, every twenty-somethings should be single for a season so that they can invest into friendships. Do you remember that friend that slowly disappeared once they started dating? This person might have been your ride or die friend that you did everything with; but once they started dating, what happened? Maybe they stopped calling you or hanging out with you. And your relationship started to drift. At that time, you might have gotten upset but your friend did the right thing. That’s a part of life. Once you start dating, you no longer have the same amount of time for others. When you are single, you have an advantage to cultivate deep friendships. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I am not as close to my friends as I was before I got married.

5. Singleness is a Time to get Close to the Lord

Lastly, if you are a Christian this season of singleness can become the one of the sweetest times between you and the Lord. Paul himself said that it is better to remain single than to marry (1 Cor 7:8). Paul was not saying that we need to be a priest or a monk. He was saying that when a person gets married their hearts can no longer only be devoted to the Lord. Rather, they will have to be concerned with pleasing their spouse and the Lord. Paul writes,“ I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided” (1 Cor 7:32-34). Paul is writing here that when an individual is single he or she can focus all of their heart on the Lord in a unique way that a married person cannot do. It was for this reason, he decided it was best for him to remain single so that he can fully devote himself to ministry. If you are a Christian in a season of singleness, please do not endure this time. Be faithful with this time. Use your extra hours you have in prayer, worship and serving the Lord through your local church. This season of being single is a gift from God.

William Chung is the Ministry Director at 4 Christ Mission. William served as a youth and college pastor for 8 years in Orange County. He travels around the country preaching to young people to live radical lives for Christ. He graduated from Talbot School of Theology with his M.Div and is currently pursuing his D.Min at Dallas Theological Seminary.

  • Charles S Areson

    Great article.

    As someone who was married at 23 I have nothing about joy in my choice. I have been married now for 27 years and have enjoyed them all (yes there have been struggles).

    This being said everything I have read in this article is true. Singleness is not a curse nor a blessing unless you make it one. If the right person comes along then marry if not wait. Use this time wisely, as a gift from God because it can be.

    One thing I have observed, living together is may not be married but it is not being single either. The advantages of “being single” are lost.

    • William Chung

      Thanks for your feedback Charles!

  • Great post Will. I think it’s very easy to waste our singleness worried about getting married when marriage will naturally follow a time of consecration and growth during our season of singleness.

    I took the time to checkout your blog and messages. You are exactly the kind of guy I am looking to interview as Provost of Austin Bible Institute to connect with and inspire our young people who are training to go out and live for Christ. If that is something you are open to, let me know.

    Great work!

    • William Chung

      Hey Kenneth! Thank you for your encouragement brother. It would be an honor for me to share with your students and young people. Feel free to send me an email through my website and I will love to hear more about what you had in mind.

  • Laurens Wes

    Not a great post at all, Will. You can do all of those things while being in a relationship. More importantly; if a relationship is witholding you from doing any of these things then you should look for someone else. A relationship should enrich your life, not restrain other aspects of it.

    • William Chung

      Hey Lauren. Thank you for your feedback. When you wrote that “if a relationship is holding you from doing any of these things then you should look for someone else,” is one of the reasons why I wrote this post. I have seen many friends break off relationships and even marriages because they thought their partner was holding them back. Something in them believes sooner or later they will find the ‘perfect match’ that will meet their emotional needs. However, my goal was to shed light to single people that sooner or later there will be friction in any relationship. People will always come to a place where they feel like their partner is no longer meeting their emotional and physical needs. Which is why I wanted to encourage single people to use their time as singles to process their internal wounds and character so that they would be better prepared to be in a relationship! But I respect your opinion and thank you again for your feedback!

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